my friday

So Friday was an awesome day! We'll start by going back a bit, so I have been doing a lot of thinking lately starting with trying to figure out why my roommate has been acting so weird lately and finally came to the conclusion that he is being passive/aggressive. I came to that based in part that a LOT of his behaviour is submissive, which lead me to realise that a lot more of MY behavior then I wanted to admit was also. I have known for almost 20 years that I was a switch but this seemed to say that it wasn't a 50/50 split like I thought. After a lot of soul searching, I started listing those I have done something in rl with in both dom and sub categories, the results....... was unequivocal.... domed 3, subed to at least 25! So I looked at who I felt dom or sub to atm d 0 s 8..... So ok the numbers say that I am a sub with a dom side.
 On Wednesday, before making the big discovery (in fact, this is why I was soul searching) I had a big argument with my roommate. I said in my previous blog that 1/2 the reason I created a blog here was to follow bfg's blog, on two of her "adventures" she kept telling herself she wasn't going to, until she did. Well I told myself as I got ready that I wasn't going to, told myself a dozen times as I headed to walmart that I wasn't going to, told myself 3 times between walmart and b&b that I wasn't going to...... I spent at least 20 min walking around an adult bookstore with my hands rucked into my belt at the back. There was something different this time, I wasn't looking to run a risk, I was actively hoping to be raped. I left disappointed to be on my feet, instead of going to the hospital because of being raped (which also implies violence).
 So Thursday I had a long talk to c, Then created this account. I woke up Friday feeling like a large weight had been lifted. I felt good.... I didn't want to get out of bed because I didn't want life to shit all over my good feeling. After getting dressed to run an arend, C said her wanted to go to gateway to eat. So I went there and got lotsa shrimp (real good food for depression!!!! :) ). Then I went for a long walk and found............ A $50 BILL !!!!!!! so Friday was AWESOME